Like for Jesus
Chapter 1: The Mall.
So I was an intern at Facebook, lived alone, and lived with my room mate at College University. So my story begins on a cold November night, I was browsing Facebook after jacking off to numerous Asian BBWs, which apparently exist. I found lots of emo Tumblr quotes, disturbing posts about IMVU, and political memes. However, I came across a strange post later that night, 12:04 A.M. if my memory serves me well. On the left, it showed a totally white European guy portraying Jesus, and on the right it showed a man in a devil costume. The caption read,"Like for Jesus. Ignore for Satan". I ignored it because I am a super Satanist that sucks Anton Levey's cock in hell! Just kidding, I ignored it because it was retarded!
That night I had a dream, I was in that mall in the Dave Chapelle show, the one that was supposed to represent the internet. I walked down the plaza until I found the Facebook theater. It was playing Minions, Sexy pictures of people you don't know, and... Like for Jesus.Ignore for Satan. I was startled beyond belief, "How could they play this shit?!" I asked myself. I went into the Sexy picture show because this was my dream, and I could do what I want!
I awoke the next morning, to my room mate, which I live alone with. He said the new mall that was supposed to represent the internet was finally open! I was happy, until I remembered my dream. I asked him "Can we not go to the Facebook theater?". He looked at me with a puzzled look and asked "How do you know what is in the mall?". I understood his puzzlement, this mall was one of a kind, and the information about it was not released to the public. Telling him I had a prophetic dream was fucking crazy, so I told him I got the info from my job, being an intern at Facebook.
Before I went to the mall, I saw a small icon of the devil on my night stand. I was Orthodox, so this was a heresy. Actually I think it would be a heresy to any Christian,except for Westboro Baptists. When I arrived at the mall, it looked just like dream. I saw a pay for music stand, nobody was at that. I then saw a free music store, it was crowded as hell! Me and my room mate went down to the F.N.A.F. fanbase chat room, everyone had cancer. After going to that fuck fest, we decided to go get drinks, like Dr.Shrek and Joely-Cola. We went up the escalator and saw the theater. It was playing... Minions, Sexy pictures of people you don't know, and Like for Jesus. Ignore for Satan.
In that moment, I was not euphoric! My room mate wanted to see the exact show I did NOT want to see! We didn't have to buy tickets, we just went in. The theater was surprisingly uncrowded, or maybe not surprisingly. The movie was about an hour long, and featured reenactments of copypastas that were normally on Facebook. You name it, Mike the ghost, the boy and the girl, even ritual pastas. At the very end though, it showed an actor who seemed to be playing Jesus. He said in a loud voice "You ignored!" and he wouldn't stop saying it until the film ended. My room mate looked at me horrified, and whispered in my ear "Meh."